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Baseball is the worst
The list of things I’d rather do than watch a baseball game is endless. Before attending another game, I’d volunteer to watch paint dry, chew my own arm off, get lobotomized, be waterboarded, or walk across glass. At least for some of these, the pain would be temporary, whereas a baseball game seems to go on for eternity.
Bewildering to me, the idea has stuck that baseball is an American tradition, but the concept has major flaws. Come with me as we explore the worst aspects of baseball.
Why is there a fat old man in a player’s uniform?
With each MLB Opening Day, fans encounter one of the most bizarre traditions- managers getting suited up in full uniforms for no god damned reason. Not just a jersey or team hat, but the full get up- too-tight fitting pants, socks, and cleats. I couldn’t even begin to speculate on the beginning of why the league thought fat, old guys in tight pants was a good look, but boy, do they look silly.
Could you imagine the head coach of the Steelers suiting up with pads and cleats to bring his players out onto the field? Big ol’ beer belly untucking the shirt every couple of minutes…not a good look…and it’s uncomfortable for all of us.
